Processing the Grief

"Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these" (Matt. 19:14)

Friday, December 14, 2012 twenty little children and six adults took possession of the kingdom of Heaven.  Today they are whole and happy and healthy.  Yet, today, their families...and the world...are wracked with a raw grief encompassing every fiber of our being...body, mind, soul and spirit!  Words escape us...tears consume us...questions proliferate with no logical answers...why?  Why, God?  Why young innocent children?  Why loving dedicated school staff just doing their jobs?  Why now?  Silent screams pierce our psyches, searching for rational and logical motives.  Yet, they don't come!

Opinions run rampant...the need for new or better gun laws; additional and more specific attention to mental disorders...better school security...how much do we expose our children to the specifics of tragedies such as this....some unbridled opinions, as in the case of the supposed Morgan Freeman views through social media (check it out on Facecrooks) continue being reposted...

All of those issues are pertinent and important to discuss!  But now?  Really?  People want to know why? and where was God?  The other legislations, regulations, and policies will come in time.

So why did this happen?  Why did the shootings in the mall in Oregon happen?  Why did the shootings in Tucson occur?  WHY?  Because evil exists in this world!  Plain and simple!  When God created the world, behold He looked upon it and said it was "good" (Gen. 1: 10, 12, 18, 21, 25, 31).  He created man and woman and it was good.  But then SIN entered the world?  WHY?  Because God gave man free will, the option to choose good or to choose bad.  God set the ball in motion and allowed man to choose...and man chose evil.  So evil exists in the world even today!

In our state of "free will" over the years we, as a country, have chosen to remove God from just about every governing document or body, our schools, buildings, athletic events, etc.  The pledge to our flag still contains the words "...one nation, under God..."; yet, who's to say those words will remain in our pledge.  America has become a self-focused, self-reliant nation.  The New Age movement has ushered in the idea that we can do everything FOR and BY ourselves; that we are most important; that we are able to do for ourselves and need no one; we are all interconnected, and we can, through positive thoughts, heal ourselves and one another; "the human mind has much greater potential than that ascribed to it and can even override physical reality" (Wikipedia, New Age)...in other words, we are big, we're cool, we're in control; we don't need God...we ARE God!  In the realm of religiosity we have either removed God or moved Him down on the hierarchy UNTIL and UNLESS a magnanimous tragedy occurs!  THEN we want to reach across party lines, across religious divisions and cry out to God for help, fully expecting and anticipating His rapid response!  HOW AUDACIOUS!  HOW ARROGANT!  

No matter your political affiliation, please listen to this blatant yet candid statement by Mike Huckabee: 

Wonder what would happen if, just for a while, we were to allow God to re-enter our lives in all capacities, public and private?  HE is a good God!  He is a righteous God!  But He also is  JEALOUS God...and He WILL NOT force His way into any place He is not welcomed!  

So, since this way is not working for us (in the wording of Dr. Phil) then should we keep doing the same thing expecting different results (the definition of insanity); or should we perhaps try something different...like maybe the "old fashioned" way of doing things like when I was growing up?  You know, like prayer in schools, at athletic events, the display of the 10 Commandments, etc. 

And...where was God throughout this whole incident?  Right where He always has been!  On His throne, looking down on the senseless and tragic incident, His heart hurting...for the deranged mental state of the gunman, for his mother whose life was blotted out, for his remaining family who will re-live this every single day for the rest of their lives, for the precious victims whose lives were stolen from them, for the families of those victims, for the first responders, for the fellow teachers, administrators, and other students, for the community of Newtown...and for the world at large.  Jesus was weeping along with each of us.  Could He have intervened?  YES!  Why did He not?  We don't know...and we will never now this side of Heaven. 

 Yet, in the words of my pastor, Pete Wilson, this is what we DO know:  " Ps. 34:18  The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.

I know in confusing times like this many people wonder…

God where are you?

God why aren’t you answering?

Do you know?

Do you care?

We wonder if there is anything that STILL holds true. Even in the face of unexplainable circumstances like this I do believe certain things still hold true.

I believe…

Love still defeats hate.

Hope is still stronger than despair.

There is a God who still answers prayer.

His mercies are still new every morning.

His forgiveness is still stronger than sin.

His guidance is still greater than human confusion.

His promises still remain more certain than human fear.

The cross is still sufficient for grace for us.

The tomb is still empty.

All this is true because 2,000 years ago, a baby named Jesus was born in a town named Bethlehem. Governments, economies, civilizations, and cultures keep coming and going, but the kingdom Jesus started is still spreading, and his light shines brighter today than it did when it started."  (Pete Wilson, Dec. 17, 2012, Cross Point Community Church).

I am clinging to those promises...to that hope...to that baby who went to a cross and rose again!  I am clinging to the only One I know can supply the comfort so desperately needed by countless people the world over.  I do not know what tomorrow holds for any of us....but I DO KNOW the ONE who holds tomorrow, and so I press in to Him, I cling to His Word and His love...and I cry out, "Abba, Father, have mercy, bring healing, and provide peace in the midst of this horrific storm!  For You along can bring hope, peace, comfort, and joy again!  And we WILL offer you ALL praise, glory and honor for every little provision along the way!"

As I end, I share the names of those precious lives lost, to honor their life and death...and I ask you to choose even one name and pray for that family throughout the holidays and the coming months, even years!

Believe it or not...PRAYER DOES CHANGE THINGS! We don't change things or people!  GOD DOES and He embodies the prayers of His people!  

My prayer for each of you reading this is that you will know the One whose birth we celebrate during this season!  If you have not yet relinquished control of your life to His control, I beg of you to do so now.  For, as in the words of our pastor to his boys during this tragedy, "None of us chooses how we die.  But we do choose how we live".

Live deliberately!  Live obediently!  Life hopefully!  And life forgiven...by the only one who matters, Jesus!

Merry, Merry Christmas in spite of and through it all!

Principal Dawn Hochsprung, Psychologist Mary Sherlach, Teachers Lauren Rousseau, Victoria Soto, Anne Marie Murphy, Rachel Davino (Adults) ("Kinders",  Principal Hochsprung's pet name for these six and seven year olds: Olivia Engel, Emilie Parker, Charlotte Bacon, Daniel Barden, Josephine Gay, Ana Marquez-Greene, Dylan Hockley, Madeleine Hsu, Catherine Hubbard, Chase Kowalski, Jesse Lewis, James Mattioli, Grace McDonnell, Jack Pinto, Noah Pozner, Caroline Previdi, Jessica Rekos, Avielle Richman, Benjamin Wheeler, Allison Wyatt

A Royal Birth

A royal baby is due...to Prince William and Kate Middleton!

 

( photo by Getty Images)

The expected due date is July.  Kate has struggled with acute morning sickness and recently spent 3 days in a British Hospital under intense security, while receiving "royal" medical attention.  All the world's a stage and at the center is the expected royal baby.  Surely Kate will set trends in maternity fashion; predictions on the size and name will headline every talk show and VIP Magazine; the nursery will likely be carefully and elegantly crafted...and then the son or daughter of the heir apparent of England's throne will make a grand entrance into the lives and hearts of us all!

Over 2,000 years ago another royal birth occurred...no fashion trends were set; His name, Christ the Lord,  was announced by an angel appearing in the sky (Luke 2:11).  The wise men sought him, calling Him "King of the Jews" (Matthew 2); there was no paparazzi following Him with cameras or writing articles about His arrival; there was no stylish, well-designed nursery~ rather His birthplace was likely in a cave...in a King size bed....

                                                                   ...like this

(photo credit)

                                                           ...or maybe more like this

                                                   (photo credit)

To be sure there was no Fluffo or Memory Foam mattress.  Mary did not receive medical attention fit for royalty.  

Virtually every part of THIS King's birth was non-traditional by our standards.  Mary and Joseph had no physical relations leading to pregnancy; yet, she was pregnant.  They lived lives in obscurity.  There were no celebratory baby showers.  "Mary treasured and pondered all these things in her heart" (Luke 2:19).  And while there likely was much chatter from sheer shock, I doubt there was much awe of this  baby who would be born a King, yet die the lowest of commoners death!

It's Christmastime...with Black Friday and Cyber Monday! Prolific parties, dazzling decorations, merry music, generous gift giving, family feasts...

 ...but how much wonder and awe and joy does the birth of the Christ child bring you at Christmas?  Do you, like Mary, treasure and ponder these things in your heart? 

"Sing my soul, the greatness of the Lord.

Rejoice my spirit, rejoice in God my Savior.

So tenderly hath he regarded me.

So wondrously hath he exalted me.

All generations shall call me blessed, all generations shall call me blessed.

For His name, His name is Holy.

He is the mighty One.

His mercy is ever sure, His mercy is ever sure.

Sing my soul, the greatness of the Lord" 

(Celebrate Life, Ragan Courtney and Buryl Red, 1973)

And Mary said: “My soul glorifies the Lord  and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior,

 for he has been mindful of the humble state of his servant.
From now on all generations will call me blessed, for the Mighty One has done great things for me—
    holy is his name.
His mercy extends to those who fear him, from generation to generation.                                                                 

 He has performed mighty deeds with his arm;he has scattered those who are proud in their inmost thoughts.
 He has brought down rulers from their thrones but has lifted up the humble.
 He has filled the hungry with good things but has sent the rich away empty.
He has helped his servant Israel, remembering to be merciful  to Abraham and his descendants forever,
    just as he promised our ancestors.” (Luke 1: 46-55)

From the cradle to the grave...to the cross...ALIVE forevermore!  That's the only royal birth we should truly celebrate.

Review of Because You Care: Spiritual Encouragement for CaregiversReview of Because You Care: Spiritual Encouragement for Caregivers

Review of Because You Care:  Spiritual Encouragement for Caregivers

by Cecil Murphey and Twila Belk

 

I am a Mother of 3 children, the grandmother of 2 with another on the way, the daughter of an 80-year old mom, and for the past 5+ years I have been a caregiver for a home-bound, bed ridden, now 99-year old beautiful lady, who still lives in the home she and her beloved built in 1956!  I have a deep sense of respect and honor for those in society who are "older" (and, for the most part, wiser). As a young person I volunteered in a local hospital and a nursing home so I could be around the older (and wiser) ones.

It is no wonder then that when this short, yet poignant little book Because you Care:  Spiritual Encouragement for Caregivers came my way I was intrigued. I absorbed it cover-to-cover in one reading.  What I found were passionate and precious people in Cecil Murphey and Twila Belk (along with a few others), both of whom have spouses who require long-term and continual care.  This is absolutely NOT a book of self-pity or of loathing such an awesome responsibility.  Rather, it is a story of love, of sacrifice, of commitment to be true to their vows of "in sickness and in health".  Neither Murphey or Belk purpose it is easy; rather it is a daunting task, only possible with God's help and through His strength.

The accompanying photographs by Betty Fletcher offer a sense of peace and calm in the midst of hurt, confusion, pain...even guilt.  The transparency of these authors creates a support group, of sorts, for those of us who have been, are or will be caregivers at some point.  Watching their loved ones struggle through serious physiological problems while attempting to balance some normalcy of life speaks directly to the heart and soul of fellow sojourners...offering hope where there seems little and comfort where it is most needed.

I encourage you to purchase several copies:  one to keep for yourself and others to give away.  This is a bittersweet kind of read~ tears of sadness coupled with the joy of memories!

MY WORD update...and Processing!

"Flexibility"...the word I declared for 2012 as my word!   Here it is, 8 months later, and time for a check-up.  "How's that working for me" (in Dr. Phil style)?  

It's been quite a stretch since I've blogged...and a couple of dear followers have sent facebook messages inquiring on my whereabouts. THANK-YOU for missing me...and I have missed sharing.  Much has taken place this summer, and I am, in fact, still attempting to process it all.  In a nutshell I led a mission team to Africa for 18 days, followed by a brief respite at home; then my annual mission trip to the Dominican Republic.  I will leave again soon for a much-needed vaca of pure rest and relaxation with a dear friend to Cabo San Lucas.  Being a travel junkie it's been an amazing summer~ amazing vistas, some amazingly difficult circumstances, amazing love being shown and received, amazingly long plane rides, amazing revelations from the Lord (good and bad), and amazingly awesome and lifetime relationships formed.  It was simply A-M-A-Z-I-N-G!  Enough word play!

Years ago I felt God calling me to go to Africa.   I didn't know why, when, how, with whom...but I knew I was being called.  For the last couple of years my husband and I have served on the Board of Directors of H.E.A.L. Ministries .  HEAL's initial mission focus was primarily Latin America, with an occasional team to Jinja, Uganda.  The Lord clarified the vision for our Missions Director on one of those trips that we were to solely focus on ministry in Uganda.  We have been working prayerfully and diligently to refine our vision and mission.  Part of that process this summer included taking 3 teams to Jinja, Uganda to work, explore, investigate, and to experience life in a 3rd world country.  So my 8 fellow team members and I boarded a plane on June 7, bound for Jinja via a 13 1/2 hour layover in London, then a short stop in Nairobi, Kenya with a final landing in Entebbe, Uganda.  

 

Our team consisted of 4 adults, a high school student, 2 college students and 2 recent high school graduates...all girls except one adult male (poor Brian!  Or, perhaps we should say lucky Brian)!   Most of our time was spent loving on widows, and abandoned women and children while working alongside several ministries (which I will feature over the next little bit) while brainstorming ideas for our own ministry center there.  I will allow many photos to tell the story; words are not always needed or helpful...nor are they adequate to describe the smells, sounds, sights and emotions that run the gamut!  

  

(Please allow me a little PR here:  I hope to lead another team in June 2013 and would love to have you consider being a part of that team.  Please check often  for exact dates of our 2013 trips.  Your life will be forever changed; and you will be a significant part in changing the lives of others, I promise you)!

A major theme for me on this trip was "wonder"..."I wonder what is going on in the mind of this little one...or that teen Mom...or that elderly lady sitting alone with so many fine lines an wrinkles, a tattered dress barely clinging to her emaciated frame...or that toothless man in tattered and torn clothing, begging for a morsel of food or just a few shillings..."  "I wonder what their stories are"  "I wonder how life has treated them and what, if any, hope they have for the future"...I wonder...I wonder...

I left Jinja 18 days late feeling hopeful, because my Jesus loves those people.  He has a plan and purpose for each of their lives just as He has for my life.  I don't know what that plan looks like, and will possibly never know, this side of Heaven.  But THIS I DO know:  I have the privilege of participating in that plan!  I also have a response-ability TO that plan, and I will do everything I can to fulfill that response-ability.  I hope you will join me in any way you can...be it participating in a trip with me, covering my team members, fellow Board Members and our Mission Director in prayer, or with financial support.  It is all needed and it is all welcomed!

Please join me over the next weeks, maybe even month,s as I try to share what I a processing, through the written word and through photographs.  Feel free to either leave a comment or email me personally at lisaasyler@comcast.net (please note there are 2 a's in the email address).

Blessings on your weekend,

Lisa/aka Lolli

I Wonder...Ugandan Style

It is now day 5 of my mission trip to Jinja,Uganda and words won't come easily!  Took us 2 days + to get here and a series of unfortunate events that tested our patience greatly!  BUT GOD...in His infinite mercy rescued us out of every single situation!  Oh, Satan tried his dead level best to thwart the entire trip...to no avail!  So we actually arrived in Jinja on Saturday.  After unpacking and re-acclimating we spent the remainder of the day a bit quiet.  Yesterday we attended church, where I taught the story of Joseph and his brothers with a translator in Luganda.  The children loved it!  Then we went to a 2 hour worship service that was absolutely amazing...different dialects, skin color of vast contrast, socioeconomic backgrounds vastly different....yet all worshipping the one True God...and it was amazing!

That afternoon we went to a village dance by the women of the Masese slum and, again, the indescribable joy of that experience is indelibly etched in my mind.

Oh, the fun those women were having!  Afterwards they set their handmade beads out, beaded coin purses, all manner of jewelry...and we bought and bought and bought!  They were ecstatic to share their culture with us, their traditions with us, and their livelihood with us.  Likewise, we were blessed to be the recipients.

Then we went on a boat ride down the Nile River with Moses!  Yes, I said Moses and the Nile River!  We set out on Lake Victoria, heading toward the source of the Nile River, circled around a bit, seeing all manner of wildlife including monkeys before returning.

And then there's the children...the orphans and abandoned children...the women, mamas, abandoned women...and I wonder...

...what they pray about and what do they pray for?

I wonder...

...where these feet have trodden and where they will go in their lifetime?

I wonder...

...why precious angel Lacey Desire's momma gave her up and why she was brought to Amani Baby Cottage just this morning...I wonder what the circumstances were, to give up this beautiful gift from God?  Did the momma die?  Or did she just throw her away, like another one recently found in a latrine?

I wonder....

...what this lady worries about...or fears...or longs for...or dreams of?

I wonder...

...what the story is behind each of these precious faces?  Where will life lead them?  What have they already endured in their short lives?  Are they hungry?  Are they lonely?  Do they have a bed to sleep in...and shoes for their feet...I wonder...

I don't know, and I will always wonder...But I DO know the ONE who does know the answer to all those "I wonders" and He has a plan and a purpose for every single one of them...and I pray His redeeming love and salvation over each of these and so many more!

Happy Birthday, to my beautiful Mother and Mentor!

This weekend my family and I are going to honor our mother with a surprise 80th birthday party! She is 80 years young, but she is not embracing this age and stage in life in.the.least!!! In fact, she made my sister promise that we were not going to have any kind of party of big “shindig”! Too late, Mom! We already had it planned!

Isn’t she absolutely gorgeous?! And she is just as beautiful on the inside as she is on the outside! My mother is the epitome of the Proverbs 31 woman, who lives all of life with integrity, grace, and an abundance of love…for her children, grands, great grands, her friends…and above all else her Lord! Oh, how my momma loves Jesus!
Thank-you, Momma, for loving our Daddy well; for raising us with unconditional love (even though we certainly were not/are not always very likeable!), and for exemplifying how to put our faith and trust in an unseen God so that the blessings He has to offer will be showered upon us! We owe it all TO God, THROUGH you!
I love you so much! I celebrate 80-years young with you! Or, if you do not want to embrace 80, we can just go straight to 81, how ‘bout that?!

Deeda Marie (my nickname, for those of you who don’t know)

I made my infamous Wedding Cookies, and thought I would include the recipe for your enjoyment!  (Please excuse the photos---they are far from perfect!)

 

Wedding Cookies (for all occasions!)

Preheat oven to 400 degrees (a little lower if your oven tends to be very hot)

Ingredients:

1 Cup Soft Butter (use butter, not margarine)

½ Cups Sifted Confectioners’ Sugar

1 teaspoon vanilla

2 ¼ Cups Regular Flour

¼ teaspoon salt

¾ Cup finely chopped pecans (optional)

Mix the butter, confectioner’s sugar and vanilla until creamy.

 

Blend in the flour and salt.

Add in pecans (optional) and mix well. 

Roll into small balls; then flatten slightly.  Place onto an ungreased baking sheet and bake for 10-12 minutes.  While warm, roll into confectioner sugar (I put the sugar in a large baggie, add about 10-12 cookies at a time, seal tightly and shake well to coat the cookies).  When the cookies have completely cooled, shake in the sugar again before transferring to a serving platter or a covered container.  (I usually make these a few days ahead and, as long as they are stored in an air-tight container, they will stay deliciously fresh)!

Rest in sweet peace!

On April 15, Spc. Jason Edens, of my hometown of Franklin, TN., was injured in Afghanistan.  Eleven days later he lost his life due to his injuries.  Today this hometown hero's life was celebrated and he was laid to rest. with the procession passing in front of our driveway.  Thank-you, Jason, for the supreme sacrifice offered to protect our country!  You served us well and we are so proud of you!  May your beautiful wife and family be comforted in the coming days, weeks and months as they mourn your loss and celebrate your life!